Mother, I do not need a blind date. Not with some incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney and dresses like her mother.

I have a blind date tonight; a true blind date. When I say true blind date, I mean I know zero about this guy. I have no idea what he looks like, his age, if he likes nonfat Chais, if he wears tacky holiday sweaters, and if he his passport! Basically, I know his name and place of employment. BUT never fear The Cousin has well prepped me for the date. Yesterday I was telling her about the blind date, and two minutes later she emailed me his life story. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, God Bless Google and The Cousin’s stalking skills!

Bonding with the neighbors

Last week my lovely state experienced some hot temperatures. Oklahoma is custom to hot summers, but not before July. This year I decided I would keep my plants alive, except for the tomatoes plants I killed a few weeks ago.

In the spirit of trying to keep my flowers alive I’ve started water the plants twice a day.
This morning I went outside to start my morning watering ritual. As I watering my pretty flowers I heard the neighbor’s garage door open. When I looked over at the neighbor’s I witnessed my neighbor taking her trash out while wrapped in a towel, and just a towel. Luckily for everyone, the towel stayed in place. She finally noticed me watering my pretty flowers and simply waved. Of course, I didn’t have much room to judge. I was watering flowers in my PJs, running shoes, with Velcro Rolls on top of my head. It’s amazing the things you see at 6am!

It doesn't matter if you're black or white

Yesterday was a sad day. The King of Pop passed away. Despite the fact, the man could have been crazy, he did produce great music. No one could dispute his ability to entertain or write great songs. Thriller is one of my favorite songs, of all time. When I was 3 or 4 my uncles used to sing Thriller to me because they liked to watch me cry. I guess when I was little my dad let me watch the video and it scared the crap out of me. My uncles got a big kick out of watching me freak out when they'd sing or just say Thriller. Don’t worry my uncles now have kids and I do crap to their kids all the time. It’s part of the circle of life.

MJ, you have given us great music for many years. Thanks.

Welcome!

Blogger World, two weeks ago I purchased my first vacuum cleaner. No, I haven’t been living in total filth all this time. My mom gave me a vacuum cleaner when I first moved into my house. She donated her old vacuum cleaner thinking I’d buy a new one in a few months. Five years later, I finally broke down and bought a vacuum cleaner. Blogger World, please meet my new vacuum cleaner…..Please do not judge me! I know it’s unusually to have a vacuum cleaner that’s worth more than all the living room furniture, combined! My theory is if I distract them with my super clean carpet, they won’t notice my ugly 2 ton reclining couch.
I would like to welcome my new Dyson to the family. I’m sure it will be great friends with Little Shuffle and my overpriced running watch.

A Bravo Night

Last night Mr. T came over for dinner. I cooked dinner and he made dessert. We make an impressive team! Mr. T’s dessert was chocolate cake in a coffee mug. Blogger World, have you heard of this? You mix all the ingredients into a mug and place in the microwave for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes you have a warm miniature chocolate cake. It was delicious, and did I mention it only took 5 minutes?

After dinner Mr. T, Sister #1, and I watched The Real Housewives of New Jersey. You guys know I’m into these Housewives! I thought NJ was going to be boring, but it ended up being pretty good. However, the reunion show ended up being a bust. They didn’t get into anything juicy; we have to watch the second part Thursday night for the tears and lashings.

Following the NJ Reunion Bravo premiered their new show NYC Prep. I tell you what; Bravo can sure produce the addicting trash TV. Anyway, this show is about NYC elite prep school brats. Basically, it’s the real life version of Gossip Girl; and it’s so dumb…literally! I still can’t believe the three of us wasted an hour of our life watching those spoiled brats! And the worst part, we didn’t just watch the show; we actually tried to figure out how the brats knew each other. Ridiculous! My favorite part of the show was watch to the prep brats interact with each other. They kept saying…I need a drink. A drink? A drink of what? Kool-Aid! Shut your mouth! You are 16 years old! The show is so unrealistic! Now, the Housewives show-that’s real life! I mean, just look at the picture of Teresa. You just can't produce that type of angry, that's some crazy eyes angry.

Letters from OK Chick-Work Edition

Dear Intern,
You are not above me. Please stop walking around the office thinking you are above me. You sit in a cub like me, and you do not have a college degree. If you talk down to me one more time I will kick you in the shin, and make you look up your own data!
Sincerely,
Ok Chick

Dear Starbucks Lady,
I love you! I really do. This morning I was tired, and you made me the best nonfat Chai in the world. I’m still not awake, but at least I am functioning.
Still your #1 fan,
OK Chick

Dear Slow Man on the Turnpike.
GET THE HECK OFF THE ROAD! Do not return to the road until all morning traffic is gone. When the speed limit is 70, you need to go 70! Not 60 or 63.
Thanks,
OK Chick

Dear Ice Cold Coworker,
What’s wrong with you? Why are you mean to everyone? I’m sorry everyone avoids you, but maybe you should smile every once in awhile. I know, I’m just a kid, but it might help.
Coworker who cares,
OK Chick

Dear New Admin,
When you page someone, there is no need to yell. It’s ok to softly page someone over the loud speaker. We can hear you even when you speak softly. It’s true!
Going deaf in my right ear,
OK Chick

Weekend Update

Confession: I’m exhausted. This weekend took everything out of me, and left me no time to recover. I’m kicking myself for not taking today off. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Oh well, I’m young, right? I’ll bounce back. But until I’m back to my peppy self, I give you ….Weekend Update.

Friday
Relay. This, my friends, is why I’m exhausted. For you newbies to This is My World, Relay for Life is an all night fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. The shindig starts at 7pm Friday night and ends around 6am Saturday. It’s a long time to be awake. But with all that said, Relay is a great event, and I’m blessed to be part of such an awesome fundraiser. Actually, my entire family participates in Relay, so it’s fun to raise money together for such a great cause. This year my town raised over 68K, which considering the financial times, I think is great. Our goal was 80K, but we are still hopefully we will pull closer to our goal.

Saturday
I finally made it to bed around 7:30am. But I couldn’t sleep. I was wired and wide awake. I almost got out of bed and went to aerobics, but I forced myself to just lay still. Of course after a minute I was out cold. I think I was asleep for an hour when my phone started buzzing. Sister #2 was enrolling in college and needed assistance finding the best/easiest professor. Sister #2 sent numerous text messages asking for my advice, and I thought I answered all of them correctly. As you might have guessed, I did not answer the text messages very well. Actually, some were impossible to read. Here is an example of a text I sent to Sister #2:
Act get him I ran a half marathon with him. Her married to my friend.
What the crap! After that text message, Sister #2 realized I was a lost cause and just let me sleep.

Saturday evening was a bit better. I was semi rested and ready to be social. I spent the evening with some of my friends at a small dinner party. The food was so tasty. I don’t mean it was tasty because I didn’t have to cook/clean-up. I mean, the food was magnificent!

Sunday
My church kiddos put on a puppet show. Also, a great laugh. Then I headed to Hometown, USA for Father’s Day. My dad grilled for his girls, and it was mighty tasty. I ate entirely too much food, but who cares. The shrimp and salmon were just too good.

Tonight is the night

Week Review

This week has been interesting, and it’s only Thursday! Let me recap the craziness from this week….

Monday
Event: Friday night my dad inquired two tomato plants. All weekend my parents were on my case to plant the stupid plants. After a day of work, mowing my yard, and an aerobics class I realize I should plant the tomato plants.
Problem: I didn’t have potting soil, and I just got home from aerobics which is very close to Lowe’s.
Solution: I went to Lowe’s to buy potting soil.

Tuesday
Event: Get home from work and notice the toilet sounded funny; I went to my bathroom to check out the situation.
Problem: The Great Bathroom Flood- Toilet Overflowing
Solution: Plunge, plunge, plunge, GAG, plunge, plunge, call mom to say adulthood sucks. After all the plunging I finally decide the toilet is good enough to sit until a plumber can come inspect.

Event: I water my new tomato plants.
Problem: I forgot to turn off the water, because the toilet was overflowing, and I flood my tomato plants.
Solution: I turn the water off, and then become angry that I spent $14.99 on Miracle Grow Potting Soil to plant the stupid things!

Event: The last Relay for Life meeting.
Problem: I seem to be having water problems- flooding plants and The Great Bathroom Flood.
Solution: I call the Committee Chair and tell her I’m having toilet problems. Oh no, that was not embarrassing at all!

Wednesday
Event: 5AM time to get up for work, head to the bathroom to take a shower.
Problem: Step on wet carpet. I quickly discover bathroom is flooded and the water has leaked into the bedroom.
Solution: I scream every cuss word under the sun, and then begin scooping toilet water from the toilet. I was hoping this would prevent anymore flooding.

Event: Plumber visits me.
Problem: Well, this really wasn’t a problem, more of a blessing!
Solution: $119 later, my toilet is fixed!

Yup, that’s my week in a nutshell! Ok Chick’s world is never boring!

Picker

Today on the way home from work, I witnessed something very funny. It probably won't be funny to you, but humor me. I was driving down the street when I noticed a very nice car. I would classify this car as a car that cost more than some people's houses. After I was done gawking at the car I noticed an attractive woman was behind the wheel. She was one of those ladies that would probably be friends with the Housewives in Orange County. She looked perfect and well put together, something I can never achieve.

Well, as luck would have it fancy car lady and I were at the stop light together. I glanced over at her one more time, to see if I knew her, and she started picking her nose! NO JOKE! I started laughing and not just HAHA laughing. I was laughing so hard that tears started to pour. I think this act from fancy car lady shocked me so much that it made me giggle. I giggled all the way home! Needless to say, it was a good laugh, and it made my day! I feel that this is a good time to remind all you car nose pickers out there, that we can see you in your car.

Ramblings...

This morning I started out super motivated. I woke up with the roosters to clean my house, then went to aerobics, started a load of laundry, and then went to work. See, what I’m talking about-pure motivation! However, as the day progressed the motivation went down the drain. Currently, I’m content with gawking at the wall. It’s bad. Since I feel like watching paint dry I thought I would post Ramblings. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a good ole’ Ramblings…

Today, for my afternoon snack I had the most delicious apple ever. It was so juicy and crisp. I’ve never had an apple with such a crisp sweetness. I know this point sounds silly, but it was a really good apple!

Right now, some famous actors/actresses are in the state filming a movie. Stop laughing; they really are filming a movie in my state. Anyway, Jessica Alba is one of the famous celebs filming. This week she has been filming with Casey Afflect. Well, I guess one night this week she got bored, because she went on a vandalizing rampage. Alba plastered shark posters around downtown OKC. Yes, shark posters. I think it’s an odd way to make your mark on a city? I mean, why shark posters? Does she think the fine citizens of Oklahoma care about sharks? I’m all for saving the ocean, but it’s not at the top of my save the world list. I suppose I could be more passionate about the ocean…IF THERE WAS A FREAKIN’ OCEAN NEAR OKLAHOMA! Jessica Alba has now been placed on the “actors/actresses that do stupid things” list. Welcome! By the way, a big thanks to The Lost Ogle for breaking the story.

This weekend I’m attending The Roommate’s wedding. Yes, The Roommate is entering eternal bliss. I’m pretty excited for The Roommate and The Groom. The Roommate found herself a great guy, and I’m positive they will be happy forever. But what makes me even more excited about this wedding is I set them up! It’s true. See Blogger World, I really can match-make! Now, if I could just get these people to find me a date everything would be a-okay!

I just heard there is going to be Pirates of the Caribbean 4. Why in the world do we need a 4th movie? Will someone kill Jack Sparrow so we can end this madness?

I sit in a cube for eight hours. A tiny box made of foam walls. I’ve been sitting in a cub for almost five years. Today, I finally got tired of looking at the gray walls.

I’ve decided it’s time to come out of running retirement. Tonight, I plan to run. I’m not promising greatness, but I am promising that my fat butt will be back in the running regimen. Hopefully, my fat butt will shrink, or maybe it will just allow me to eat more M&Ms.

My High School Reunion is coming up very soon. Here’s the deal with my reunion. I don’t care to attend. First, I like very few people from my class. Second, I have nothing to say to these people. Third, Facebook has allowed me to stalk/keep in touch with many people. The only reason I’m even considering going is because I look hot and everyone else has gained weight. Ok, so ignore the whole fat butt comment I mentioned earlier. I know I shouldn't be this way, but I am. If I do attend, I’m allowing myself to buy new clothes. Oh don’t judge! Everyone does this.

Blogger World, it’s time for me to close these Ramblings, because I have run out of things to ramble about!

Go Bayside!

I'm sure by now everyone has seen "The Zack Morris" interview on Jimmy Fallon. If not, visit Aublog or Bone's Blog and watch the 9 minute video. It's funny.

I'm proud to report that when I was in NYC I purchased a Saved By the Bell t-shirt. Actually, my mom bought Sister #1 and I each a shirt. My shirt says Zack Attack (with a picture of the whole cast) and Sister #1 decided on a simple Bayside Tigers shirt. Currently, The NBC Store in NYC has dedicated an entire section to SBTB. Sister #1 and I were excited beyond words. Sister #2's reaction...what's Saved By the Bell?

Folks, I about fell over in the middle of NYC. How does my little sister not know about Saved By the Bell? Really? It was all the rage in the 90s. HELLO...she was born in 1991, right in the middle of the SBTB days! I know she had to watch a rerun or two in her early years. Good grief they showed reruns of SBTB more than they show reruns of Friends! I was so upset by Sister #2's words. She doesn't know what SBTB is?

Tonight, I made her get online and watch the Jimmy Fallon video. Hopefully, this will make her see the awesomeness of SBTB! But, I have failed her as a sister. Blogger World, please except my apology for not educating Sister #2 on proper TV! It will never happen again. Now if you would excuse me, I need to make sure she knows of 90210.

Weekend Update

Components to a superb weekend!

Lunch with a friend
Intense workouts
Mowed yard
A visit to the pool
Farmer’s Market
Grilled vegetables
Dinner with friends
Eating the Mother Cupcake
A movie
Shopping
Meeting a new neighbor


Yup, it was a great weekend! I have a nice sunburn from my pool visit, which I’m positive will become a wonderful tan tomorrow. It is officially summer in OK Chick’s World. By the way, this picture was not taken at my pool. There is no ocean in Oklahoma, or moutains, or Palm Trees.

Lesson from a movie

Last night I bought a DVD. First of all, I do not buy DVDs, unless they are from the $5 bin at Wally-World. It’s kind of a big deal for me to shell out $20 for a DVD. I’m more of a go-see-it-in-the-theater-type-of-girl, or wait until it’s one of the free rentals at my movie place. However, yesterday I decided I needed the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. It wasn’t a want, it was a need.

After I arrived home from work I watched about thirty minutes of the movie. If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s a good movie. It’s an honest movie. It tells you how it is in the dating world. The basic premise of the movie is: if he likes you, he’ll ask you out. Period. The end. There is none of this…he’s afraid of a relationship; or he’s just intimidated by me. No, he’s not intimidated by you, and no he’s not scared of a relationship. He’s Just Not That Into You. Repeat after me, HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! See, it’s simple.

I write all this for one of my friends. Really, there is a friend, she doesn’t read this blog but there is a friend. I’ve known her since college, and every time we hang out it’s the same story. We have to spend the entire meal talking about dating. She questions why she doesn’t get dates. She questions why other girls get dates. She questions why her relationships didn’t last. She questions what guys want in a relationship. You get the idea. Last time I hung out with her I almost stood on top of the table, at Chili’s, and yelled- I DON’T KNOW! I don’t know why you don’t get a date, I don’t why she gets a date, and I don’t know what these guys want in a relationship. I DON’T KNOW! I love this friend, but sometimes I walk away shaking my head at her. She’s a great girl, but she worries way too much about what the opposite sex; and I’m afraid she’s missing out on life. I think there is way more to life than living to find a mate. I hate to see people miss out on great things, because they are waiting until they are married or in a serious relationship. Why wait, go have fun. Enjoy life!

Blogger World, I’ll close this rambling post about dating, and leave you with my favorite quote from the movie…..
“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”

The party is over

Vacation time is over, and now it's back to normal life. What a great trip. It started exciting and ended exciting. We saw so many things, and ate wonderful food! We saw someone famous almost everyday. No lie! Ok, so it's sort of a lie. We didn't really see Nicholas Cage, but we watched them film his newest movie. And it's true, I only saw part of Taylor Swift's head at her concert Friday morning. Of course, I didn't really see the President Saturday night, I just saw all his secret service. BUT, I was closer to all those people than you! I kid, I kid.

Sister #1 and I took the family to all the tourist places along with some of our favorites. I introduced Sister #2 to H&M. I also introduced Sister #1 and Sister #2 to my second favorite store Uni Qlo. Everyone was happy to meet each other.

Saturday, Sister #1 and I decided we needed to culture the family, so we took them to China Town. Everyone bought great knock offs. The Sisters and my mom even bought a purse in the "back", and that was super exciting!

I think I can speak for everyone when I say...it was a great trip and we all wish we could have stayed longer.