Thursday, June 4, 2009

Lesson from a movie

Last night I bought a DVD. First of all, I do not buy DVDs, unless they are from the $5 bin at Wally-World. It’s kind of a big deal for me to shell out $20 for a DVD. I’m more of a go-see-it-in-the-theater-type-of-girl, or wait until it’s one of the free rentals at my movie place. However, yesterday I decided I needed the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. It wasn’t a want, it was a need.

After I arrived home from work I watched about thirty minutes of the movie. If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s a good movie. It’s an honest movie. It tells you how it is in the dating world. The basic premise of the movie is: if he likes you, he’ll ask you out. Period. The end. There is none of this…he’s afraid of a relationship; or he’s just intimidated by me. No, he’s not intimidated by you, and no he’s not scared of a relationship. He’s Just Not That Into You. Repeat after me, HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! See, it’s simple.

I write all this for one of my friends. Really, there is a friend, she doesn’t read this blog but there is a friend. I’ve known her since college, and every time we hang out it’s the same story. We have to spend the entire meal talking about dating. She questions why she doesn’t get dates. She questions why other girls get dates. She questions why her relationships didn’t last. She questions what guys want in a relationship. You get the idea. Last time I hung out with her I almost stood on top of the table, at Chili’s, and yelled- I DON’T KNOW! I don’t know why you don’t get a date, I don’t why she gets a date, and I don’t know what these guys want in a relationship. I DON’T KNOW! I love this friend, but sometimes I walk away shaking my head at her. She’s a great girl, but she worries way too much about what the opposite sex; and I’m afraid she’s missing out on life. I think there is way more to life than living to find a mate. I hate to see people miss out on great things, because they are waiting until they are married or in a serious relationship. Why wait, go have fun. Enjoy life!

Blogger World, I’ll close this rambling post about dating, and leave you with my favorite quote from the movie…..
“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”


Renee said...

I had a friend once who was kind of like your friend. It seemed that after just one date she had decided that this guy was "the one" and she would start planning their life together. If they dated for more than a month before the eventual break-up happened she would go into a heavy depression. She would report back to me about the lack of showers and huge weight loss. Finally I just got so upset with her and I let her have it in a very long letter. I told her that she was running off these guys by holding on too tight. I told her that she needed to relax and get to know these guys, let them get to know the real her (not the perfect future wife version). Well unfortunately that was too much info for my friend and I haven't heard from her again. I don't know if she's alive still. I hope she is alive and is happily married with a house full of kids...but I'll never know. sigh

I know that dating is hard and I'll freely admit that I don't have much experience with it. But I do know that you can't smother a guy...unless he's some weirdo Momma's boy. and who wants that?

monamachel1 said...

I love that movie!! My favorite quote is about caller ID!! I was like, amen sista!!

Emily said...

Ok, we need to get together and start a life coaching business. We could do it.

Scotty said...

I don't think I have seen this movie yet.. with your recommendation, I shall add it.

P.S. - No life coaching - you're Millionaire Matchmaker.

Ally said...

That movie made me uncomfortable....and afraid that there are really girls out there like the ones in the movies. It´s no wonder a guy isn´t drawn to a girl who is obsessed with dating.

OK Chick said...

Renee- You don't have to worry about me. I will always shower and eat, even if I get dumped.

The Cousin- Jamie and I watched the movie last night, and wI love the part where she whittens her teeth in the guys bathroom. HA! Makes me laugh every time!

Emily- Sounds good. We can take over Dr. Phil. I would say Oprah but I know that wouldn't happen! It's a basic fact that she controls the world. However, I think taking over Dr. Phil is do able. What do you think?

Scotty- Thank you for your cofindence in my matcmaking skills. I am Millionaire Matchmaker, but I think the life coaching thing can be done on the side.

Ally- I cringe at the party scene. Where Gigi stays late to help the guy clean up? AH! If some guy asked me to work his party, I'd tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine. Ok, maybe not but I probably wouldn't help out.

TC said...

I read the book. It was definitely a hard-truth read for me. Seems though, that even after reading it, I still managed to give a few guys the (admittedly-stupid) benefit of the doubt.

It's one of those "you know what you need to do but doing it isn't easy" things. Takes practice I think :)

And I think that every once in a great, great while (like 1 in 1,000), there is a guy who is afraid to ask you out. But that's about it.

May Vanderbilt said...

If you and Emily are starting a life coaching business, can I help out? I would LOVE to be a life coach. This movie had me standing up and screaming, PREACH IT!

And I have a friend just like your friend. Instead of lying to her like the girls in the movie, I give it to her straight--but sweetly.

OK Chick said...

Of course!

amy nickerson said...

Gosh this movie was seriously frustrating but good to watch. I think so many women fall in the "I HAVE to be in a relationship" trap and they forget who they are without having a man in their life. As hard as it may be to be single at times, I'm glad that at least I know who I am and what I want in life. Life is way too short to wait around for some relationship to begin. I would have missed out on so many great opportunities in my life if I had been just waiting for a guy to come around.

OK Chick said...