I have a blind date tonight; a true blind date. When I say true blind date, I mean I know zero about this guy. I have no idea what he looks like, his age, if he likes nonfat Chais, if he wears tacky holiday sweaters, and if he his passport! Basically, I know his name and place of employment. BUT never fear The Cousin has well prepped me for the date. Yesterday I was telling her about the blind date, and two minutes later she emailed me his life story. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, God Bless Google and The Cousin’s stalking skills!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Mother, I do not need a blind date. Not with some incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney and dresses like her mother.
I have a blind date tonight; a true blind date. When I say true blind date, I mean I know zero about this guy. I have no idea what he looks like, his age, if he likes nonfat Chais, if he wears tacky holiday sweaters, and if he his passport! Basically, I know his name and place of employment. BUT never fear The Cousin has well prepped me for the date. Yesterday I was telling her about the blind date, and two minutes later she emailed me his life story. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, God Bless Google and The Cousin’s stalking skills!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Bonding with the neighbors
Last week my lovely state experienced some hot temperatures. Oklahoma is custom to hot summers, but not before July. This year I decided I would keep my plants alive, except for the tomatoes plants I killed a few weeks ago.
In the spirit of trying to keep my flowers alive I’ve started water the plants twice a day.
This morning I went outside to start my morning watering ritual. As I watering my pretty flowers I heard the neighbor’s garage door open. When I looked over at the neighbor’s I witnessed my neighbor taking her trash out while wrapped in a towel, and just a towel. Luckily for everyone, the towel stayed in place. She finally noticed me watering my pretty flowers and simply waved. Of course, I didn’t have much room to judge. I was watering flowers in my PJs, running shoes, with Velcro Rolls on top of my head. It’s amazing the things you see at 6am!
In the spirit of trying to keep my flowers alive I’ve started water the plants twice a day.
This morning I went outside to start my morning watering ritual. As I watering my pretty flowers I heard the neighbor’s garage door open. When I looked over at the neighbor’s I witnessed my neighbor taking her trash out while wrapped in a towel, and just a towel. Luckily for everyone, the towel stayed in place. She finally noticed me watering my pretty flowers and simply waved. Of course, I didn’t have much room to judge. I was watering flowers in my PJs, running shoes, with Velcro Rolls on top of my head. It’s amazing the things you see at 6am!
Friday, June 26, 2009
It doesn't matter if you're black or white
Yesterday was a sad day. The King of Pop passed away. Despite the fact, the man could have been crazy, he did produce great music. No one could dispute his ability to entertain or write great songs. Thriller is one of my favorite songs, of all time. When I was 3 or 4 my uncles used to sing Thriller to me because they liked to watch me cry. I guess when I was little my dad let me watch the video and it scared the crap out of me. My uncles got a big kick out of watching me freak out when they'd sing or just say Thriller. Don’t worry my uncles now have kids and I do crap to their kids all the time. It’s part of the circle of life.MJ, you have given us great music for many years. Thanks.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Welcome!
Blogger World, two weeks ago I purchased my first vacuum cleaner. No, I haven’t been living in total filth all this time. My mom gave me a vacuum cleaner when I first moved into my house. She donated her old vacuum cleaner thinking I’d buy a new one in a few months. Five years later, I finally broke down and bought a vacuum cleaner. Blogger World, please meet my new vacuum cleaner…..
Please do not judge me! I know it’s unusually to have a vacuum cleaner that’s worth more than all the living room furniture, combined! My theory is if I distract them with my super clean carpet, they won’t notice my ugly 2 ton reclining couch.
I would like to welcome my new Dyson to the family. I’m sure it will be great friends with Little Shuffle and my overpriced running watch.
Please do not judge me! I know it’s unusually to have a vacuum cleaner that’s worth more than all the living room furniture, combined! My theory is if I distract them with my super clean carpet, they won’t notice my ugly 2 ton reclining couch.I would like to welcome my new Dyson to the family. I’m sure it will be great friends with Little Shuffle and my overpriced running watch.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
A Bravo Night
Last night Mr. T came over for dinner. I cooked dinner and he made dessert. We make an impressive team! Mr. T’s dessert was chocolate cake in a coffee mug. Blogger World, have you heard of this? You mix all the ingredients into a mug and place in the microwave for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes you have a warm miniature chocolate cake. It was delicious, and did I mention it only took 5 minutes?After dinner Mr. T, Sister #1, and I watched The Real Housewives of New Jersey. You guys know I’m into these Housewives! I thought NJ was going to be boring
, but it ended up being pretty good. However, the reunion show ended up being a bust. They didn’t get into anything juicy; we have to watch the second part Thursday night for the tears and lashings.Following the NJ Reunion Bravo premiered their new show NYC Prep. I tell you what; Bravo can sure produce the addicting trash TV. Anyway, this show is about NYC elite prep school brats. Basically, it’s the real life version of Gossip Girl; and it’s so dumb…literally! I still can’t believe the three of us wasted an hour of our life watching those spoiled brats! And the worst part, we didn’t just watch the show; we actually tried to figure out how the brats knew each other. Ridiculous! My favorite part of the show was watch to the prep brats interact with each other. They kept saying…I need a drink. A drink? A drink of what? Kool-Aid! Shut your mouth! You are 16 years old! The show is so unrealistic! Now, the Housewives show-that’s real life! I mean, just look at the picture of Teresa. You just can't produce that type of angry, that's some crazy eyes angry.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Letters from OK Chick-Work Edition
Dear Intern,
You are not above me. Please stop walking around the office thinking you are above me. You sit in a cub like me, and you do not have a college degree. If you talk down to me one more time I will kick you in the shin, and make you look up your own data!
Sincerely,
Ok Chick
Dear Starbucks Lady,
I love you! I really do. This morning I was tired, and you made me the best nonfat Chai in the world. I’m still not awake, but at least I am functioning.
Still your #1 fan,
OK Chick
Dear Slow Man on the Turnpike.
GET THE HECK OFF THE ROAD! Do not return to the road until all morning traffic is gone. When the speed limit is 70, you need to go 70! Not 60 or 63.
Thanks,
OK Chick
Dear Ice Cold Coworker,
What’s wrong with you? Why are you mean to everyone? I’m sorry everyone avoids you, but maybe you should smile every once in awhile. I know, I’m just a kid, but it might help.
Coworker who cares,
OK Chick
Dear New Admin,
When you page someone, there is no need to yell. It’s ok to softly page someone over the loud speaker. We can hear you even when you speak softly. It’s true!
Going deaf in my right ear,
OK Chick
You are not above me. Please stop walking around the office thinking you are above me. You sit in a cub like me, and you do not have a college degree. If you talk down to me one more time I will kick you in the shin, and make you look up your own data!
Sincerely,
Ok Chick
Dear Starbucks Lady,
I love you! I really do. This morning I was tired, and you made me the best nonfat Chai in the world. I’m still not awake, but at least I am functioning.
Still your #1 fan,
OK Chick
Dear Slow Man on the Turnpike.
GET THE HECK OFF THE ROAD! Do not return to the road until all morning traffic is gone. When the speed limit is 70, you need to go 70! Not 60 or 63.
Thanks,
OK Chick
Dear Ice Cold Coworker,
What’s wrong with you? Why are you mean to everyone? I’m sorry everyone avoids you, but maybe you should smile every once in awhile. I know, I’m just a kid, but it might help.
Coworker who cares,
OK Chick
Dear New Admin,
When you page someone, there is no need to yell. It’s ok to softly page someone over the loud speaker. We can hear you even when you speak softly. It’s true!
Going deaf in my right ear,
OK Chick
Monday, June 22, 2009
Weekend Update
Confession: I’m exhausted. This weekend took everything out of me, and left me no time to recover. I’m kicking myself for not taking today off. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Oh well, I’m young, right? I’ll bounce back. But until I’m back to my peppy self, I give you ….Weekend Update.
Friday
Relay. This, my friends, is why I’m exhausted. For you newbies to This is My World, Relay for Life is an all night fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. The shindig starts at 7pm Friday night and ends around 6am Saturday. It’s a long time to be awake. But with all that said, Relay is a great event, and I’m blessed to be part of such an awesome fundraiser. Actually, my entire family participates in Relay, so it’s fun to raise money together for such a great cause. This year my town raised over 68K, which considering the financial times, I think is great. Our goal was 80K, but we are still hopefully we will pull closer to our goal.
Saturday
I finally made it to bed around 7:30am. But I couldn’t sleep. I was wired and wide awake. I almost got out of bed and went to aerobics, but I forced myself to just lay still. Of course after a minute I was out cold. I think I was asleep for an hour when my phone started buzzing. Sister #2 was enrolling in college and needed assistance finding the best/easiest professor. Sister #2 sent numerous text messages asking for my advice, and I thought I answered all of them correctly. As you might have guessed, I did not answer the text messages very well. Actually, some were impossible to read. Here is an example of a text I sent to Sister #2:
Act get him I ran a half marathon with him. Her married to my friend.
What the crap! After that text message, Sister #2 realized I was a lost cause and just let me sleep.
Saturday evening was a bit better. I was semi rested and ready to be social. I spent the evening with some of my friends at a small dinner party. The food was so tasty. I don’t mean it was tasty because I didn’t have to cook/clean-up. I mean, the food was magnificent!
Sunday
My church kiddos put on a puppet show. Also, a great laugh. Then I headed to Hometown, USA for Father’s Day. My dad grilled for his girls, and it was mighty tasty. I ate entirely too much food, but who cares. The shrimp and salmon were just too good.
Friday
Relay. This, my friends, is why I’m exhausted. For you newbies to This is My World, Relay for Life is an all night fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. The shindig starts at 7pm Friday night and ends around 6am Saturday. It’s a long time to be awake. But with all that said, Relay is a great event, and I’m blessed to be part of such an awesome fundraiser. Actually, my entire family participates in Relay, so it’s fun to raise money together for such a great cause. This year my town raised over 68K, which considering the financial times, I think is great. Our goal was 80K, but we are still hopefully we will pull closer to our goal.
Saturday
I finally made it to bed around 7:30am. But I couldn’t sleep. I was wired and wide awake. I almost got out of bed and went to aerobics, but I forced myself to just lay still. Of course after a minute I was out cold. I think I was asleep for an hour when my phone started buzzing. Sister #2 was enrolling in college and needed assistance finding the best/easiest professor. Sister #2 sent numerous text messages asking for my advice, and I thought I answered all of them correctly. As you might have guessed, I did not answer the text messages very well. Actually, some were impossible to read. Here is an example of a text I sent to Sister #2:
Act get him I ran a half marathon with him. Her married to my friend.
What the crap! After that text message, Sister #2 realized I was a lost cause and just let me sleep.
Saturday evening was a bit better. I was semi rested and ready to be social. I spent the evening with some of my friends at a small dinner party. The food was so tasty. I don’t mean it was tasty because I didn’t have to cook/clean-up. I mean, the food was magnificent!
Sunday
My church kiddos put on a puppet show. Also, a great laugh. Then I headed to Hometown, USA for Father’s Day. My dad grilled for his girls, and it was mighty tasty. I ate entirely too much food, but who cares. The shrimp and salmon were just too good.
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