Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Food Lady

Blogger World, let's discuss The Food Lady in my office. If you are not familiar with The Food Lady please feel free to review this post, and this post, and this post. For those of you who are too lazy to review the posts I recommended, The Food Lady is a coworker who brings food to the office. The following items are the goodies she has brought for her fellow coworkers....
Homemade pies
Homemade cakes
Random (on sale) baked goods from Target
Halloween candy- that's expired
Candy in general
Amish Bread
Bread with Butter

I've come to this conclusion, The Food Lady is trying to make us all fat. I'm not joking. I've gained 5lbs from this woman. I refuse to buy new clothes because of her dang cakes and Amish Breads! I refuse. I know the Black and White Store would love to see me walk through their doors, but shopping when you've GAINED weight is not fun. It's depressing. It always puts me in a bad mood, which then makes me an unpleasant person. It's a big ugly cycle.

Since Halloween is officially over, my candy bucket should be chocolate free. I should not have Snickers, Twix, Hersey's, or any other chocolate product sitting in my candy bucket. Not the case. For the past week, The Food Lady has been bringing me large candy bags. The other day she brought me two different bags of crap. I swear if she brings me a candy bag today, I'm shoving it up her butt! I know, that's a mean statement. However, folks, I can't gain anymore weight. My butt is starting to jiggle when I run! This cannot happen!!!!

PS- My Blogger Friend is having a contest...check out her blog.


Scotty said...

Wow, someone who fills your candy bowl for you?!

I assume the Black and White store = White House Black Market?

Renee said...

I wonder if perhaps instead of the open hostility of ramming the goods up her behind a more kind way of expressing your displeasure would be to simply thank her and with her still there dump the offending items into your trash bin...then quickly take the trash bin to dump it in a larger bin away from your desk.

Be strong! You can resist!

OK Chick said...

I know, I should be more happy that someone is bringing awesome food. It really is awesome food; but I just can't resist. It's getting hard!

OK Dude said...

Yeah, I had the same problem at my old job. I had Betty that would bake chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake, and cakes galore. I have lost 9 pounds since I stopped working there!

thisgirlsjourney said...

I bet Christmas is her favourite time of year too. Watch out

Amy in Edmond said...

You would probably hate me if I worked with you. I love to bake. Monday after I got home from a very bad day at work, I made the kids go on a walk with me. Still frustrated from work so after supper I made pumpkin muffins, sausage balls and no bake cookies. The no bake cookies I made for a boy scout thing the next night. If I hadn't been so tired I probably would have made more.