Who you calling fat?

If you keep up with Oklahoma News, which I’m positive none of you do. But, if by the off chance you do; I’m sure you heard OKC Mayor calling all of us Okies FAT! No, he did…back in January. Actually, he called us fat many times. He also did it on National TV. For instance, he called us fat on The Ellen Show, Larry King Live, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and pretty much anyone else that would listen-just incase he wasn’t getting his message out!

Mayor Mick Cornett (the man to the left) decided Oklahoma needed to go on a diet. He pledged that in one year Oklahoma would shed 1 million pounds. I thought it was a great challenge so I signed up. I’m all about exercising. I’m all about eating healthy, so this was the perfect challenge for me. I even got Sister #1 to take on the challenge. Well the challenge has been going on for a few months and the newness has worn off. It seems that this whole thing has taken a backseat to the state’s other problems. I do not need to remind you that it is tornado season. We don’t have time to lose weight; we’re too busy chasing tornados and alerting people when it rains.

But to keep up the enthusiasm the media circuit has started up new buzz. This morning I received an email informing me that my boy AL ROKER from the Food Network and The Today Show is coming to OKC! That’s right! He’s filming a special for the Food Network; and they are having a casting call for people to participate. I guess Al thought us Fat Okies were so cool he wanted to meet us, and even film our story. Do I even have to tell you that I AM SO going to the casting call! You guys know I’ve met Al before right? Yup. It happened outside The Today Show studio. I was on SCT #4- NYC. I am positive the man remembers me. Suzy, Sista’ #1, and I gave him an OK shirt. Oh maybe he will wear the shirt Saturday? This weekend I’m going to my first, no wait second casting call. My first was for the Bachelor. Don’t ask. But the Food Network, this I can handle! Hey, this might even get me a step closer to meeting my cooking hero Paula Deen......
By the way, see those boys??? Umm that's the reason why she is my hero. Oh and because she cooks everything in Butter.

Cosmo strikes again

Strabucks Update:
I went by this morning to see if The Way I See It had really returned. It hadn’t. I guess yesterday, Starbucks was teasing me with an old cup. I know everyone was on the edge of their seat waiting for this update.

Ok, so that’s not what today’s post is about. Yesterday, The Cousin sent me a funny email. She spotted these retro ideas to keeping or snagging a man. I believe she felt I needed to see them. Of course, all this vital information comes to us from information man central- Cosmo.com. I have already expressed that Cosmo.com has every secret on their website! Really, it’s true. Yesterday, I read that I was a “hard to get girl”. I was then told by two people that I was in fact, not a “hard to get girl”. Whatever! I stand by what Cosmo says. Anyway, here’s some advice us single gals might want to try, and you married people out there…feel free to adopt these in your married life.

1966:
For Staying Married:
“Be sympathetic…and often silent. A man rarely divorces a wife because she has nothing to say.”
For Throwing a Party:
“Always be sure to invite some beautiful girls who (your guy) will find amusing. Don’t make the fatal mistake of including too many homosexuals.”

1967:
For Not Getting Dumped:
“Tearfully tell him your other, secret boyfriend is leaving you. His ego will be so shattered; he’ll hang on to see if there’s a third secret lover you’re hiding.” Ok, this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! Really, what the crap did these people smoke in the 60s? Well I know what they were smoking…but what?

1968:
For Staying Thin:
“Diet on weekdays, when he is less apt to notice. Eat like everyone else on weekends. Exercise, but out of sight.”
For Appearing Younger:
“Join a protest movement”

Blogger World, I have now given you two different ways to find/keep men; or women if you are my California friend DJ. I'm sure all this advice could apply to a women. See, who says my blog is not educational? I’m throwing out life saving advice on this thing, and I can’t even get a thank-you!

The return of...The Way I See It

The Way I See It #289....

So-called "global warming" is just a secret ploy by wacko tree-huggers to make America energy independent, clean our air and water, improve the fuel efficiency of our vechicles, kick-start 21st century industries, and make our cities safer and more livable. Don't let them get away with it!

- - Chip Giller
Founder of Grist.org

This morning I was way excited to see that Strabucks had brought back the The Way I See It. I love reading the ridiculous things they put on these cups. Although, I guess I shouldn’t say all of them are ridiculous, some are very thought provoking. This one is a favorite because they say wacko tree-hungers. I mean, at 6:50 in the morning that's funny.
Hopefully, Strabucks has brought back The Way I See It for good. I’m hoping this wasn’t a fluke and I was given an old cup this morning. I guess tomorrow morning I’ll have to swing by for another non-fat Chai to find out. Thankfully, my dad helps keep my Starbucks obsession alive. Thanks dad!

Mystery of the Day....

Today’s mystery is, why a man would cheat on her?

So....yeah, let me know if you have the answer.

A post stolen from Sarah

The other day I discovered my friend Sarah's blog. She's been added to my list of daily blogs I read. She's a great writer and she's stinkin' funny. I know...I say that about everyone. But to prove her wit, I'm stealing her post from yesterday. Is that ok? Is there some blog law I'm breaking by doing this? Surely not.

Your Friend Who Is A Boy Is Not Your Boyfriend

I don't think I have a single female friend in my life who hasn't had a visit from the Maybe Man. Sometimes he lasts a few months, sometimes he stays for years. But no matter the length of his stay, I've come to view the Maybe Man as a rite of passage for today's woman.

Now who is this Maybe Man, you ask? Actually, I think 90% of you know exactly who is he is. But for you other 10% (you lucky, lucky 10%), I'll explain. The Maybe Man is that guy in your life who always seems to be dancing along that friendship/something more line but can never quite decide where he wants to land. Some days you're convinced he's more than a friend, some days you aren't. Sometimes he acts like a jealous boyfriend, sometimes he could care less if you are still on the planet. He's the guy in your life about whom you are never sure how you feel because you're too busy trying to figure out how he feels about you.

The problem with Maybe Men is that they are almost always good guys at heart (at least today I think they are, tomorrow I just might think they are Satan's toadies) who just can't seem to get their act together when it comes to one woman: you.

And the absolute worst part about it is that because nothing is ever said directly (really, what would you say? “I know you must like me because you've called me every night this week!), so you are never quite sure if it was all in your head.

"When you're on a holiday"

I went on a weekend holiday, or vacation if you're reading this from America. Don’t be jealous. I can’t help it that I was forced on an airplane Friday morning to head to Florida. I also can’t help it, that I had to look at this for a day and half:
I know, it was a tough weekend for Sister #1, The Cousin, and I. Saturday, I was about ready to shoot myself. I was sipping on H2O and non-fat Chai Frappuccinos while watching cute guys walk past me. It’s a tough life I live! I decided my Beach Weekend Vacation was going to be a true vacation. I decided from Friday-Sunday I would relax. Friday afternoon and all day Saturday, while lying on the beach, I didn’t read school crap I read my favorite book What a Girl Wants. Also, I didn’t get up at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday morning to go run. Instead, I got up at 9:30 and ate breakfast on a patio. The weekend in Florida was to relax and for my mind and body to recuperate.

I believe all three of us had a great time. I returned home with a nice tan. Ok, so my legs resemble a lobster but whatever. I’m pretty sure it will eventual turn into a nice tan. Also, I’m almost certain my ankles will swell down to normal size. Helpful hint…put sunscreen on your feet and ankles. I forgot about those and now they are swelled up like I am pregnant. But you know what? It was worth it. I highly recommend that everyone take a Beach Weekend Vacation!

"On the beach you’ll find them there"

Ok, so imaginary high five to the person that guess what song the title of this post came from. Also, imaginary high five to the person that can guess where I'll be this weekend. So let's review, up for grabs this week...two imaginary high fives from OK Chick. The best of luck!