Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Cosmo strikes again

Strabucks Update:
I went by this morning to see if The Way I See It had really returned. It hadn’t. I guess yesterday, Starbucks was teasing me with an old cup. I know everyone was on the edge of their seat waiting for this update.

Ok, so that’s not what today’s post is about. Yesterday, The Cousin sent me a funny email. She spotted these retro ideas to keeping or snagging a man. I believe she felt I needed to see them. Of course, all this vital information comes to us from information man central- I have already expressed that has every secret on their website! Really, it’s true. Yesterday, I read that I was a “hard to get girl”. I was then told by two people that I was in fact, not a “hard to get girl”. Whatever! I stand by what Cosmo says. Anyway, here’s some advice us single gals might want to try, and you married people out there…feel free to adopt these in your married life.

For Staying Married:
“Be sympathetic…and often silent. A man rarely divorces a wife because she has nothing to say.”
For Throwing a Party:
“Always be sure to invite some beautiful girls who (your guy) will find amusing. Don’t make the fatal mistake of including too many homosexuals.”

For Not Getting Dumped:
“Tearfully tell him your other, secret boyfriend is leaving you. His ego will be so shattered; he’ll hang on to see if there’s a third secret lover you’re hiding.” Ok, this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! Really, what the crap did these people smoke in the 60s? Well I know what they were smoking…but what?

For Staying Thin:
“Diet on weekdays, when he is less apt to notice. Eat like everyone else on weekends. Exercise, but out of sight.”
For Appearing Younger:
“Join a protest movement”

Blogger World, I have now given you two different ways to find/keep men; or women if you are my California friend DJ. I'm sure all this advice could apply to a women. See, who says my blog is not educational? I’m throwing out life saving advice on this thing, and I can’t even get a thank-you!


TC said...

A man rarely divorces a wife because she has nothing to say


Those are so ridiculous. Isn't it sad to think that's really what the advice was? I wonder what Cosmo thinks of that advice these days?

Holly said...

Is this some kind of horrible joke? If not, at least I am up-to-date on protest movements.

Sarah said...

"Don’t make the fatal mistake of including too many homosexuals.”

I haven't stopped laughing since I read that.

Renee said...

I think our house would fall apart from silence if I stopped talking...DH is the "strong silent" type...okay, just silent. ;)

What were they thinking?

d.j. iverson said...

gracias for the shout out. and for the updates from cosmo, my subscription ran out last year and i've forgotten to renew.

well off to the protest!