Thursday, October 16, 2008

Letters from Ok Chick

Beloved News Media,

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I have had it up to my eyeballs with your whining, opinions, and worthless thoughts! Please, before I stab my right eye out, just- stop- talking! I do not need to be told how to spend my money. I realize the stock market is going down. However, some of us are smart enough to know that you buy when it’s low and sell when it’s high. Also, I get that you are for Obama, but not everyone is for Obama. Please be a doll and stop telling me that “The American People” did not side with McCain two minutes after a debate. How do you know what “The American People” are even thinking…THE DEBATE JUST ENDED!!!!!

XOXO,
Ok Chick

To my fellow neighbors:

What’s up with the fake flowers in flower beds? You do realize it is middle of October? So it’s very unrealistic that your Gerber Daisies are still in full bloom. Yesterday I ran around the neighborhood and counted 4-5 house that were working the fake flower look. I guess I should be praising you for such a genius idea; beautiful flowers and no hard work. My only suggestion is let’s try to keep the fake flowers in season.

Thanks,
Ok Chick

Dear Mama Spears,

STOP! Please stop while you are ahead. It was one thing for you to release your book as daughter #1 was going through an awful, awful time in her life. And it was another, when daughter #2 came out that she was pregnant at age sixteen. But, I draw the line at you releasing a movie about your life. We don’t care! Also, Julia Roberts called and she doesn’t want to play you in the movie.

Sincerely,
Ok Chick


Starbucks,

I just discovered your sugar free syrups. WOW! Where have these been hiding all my life? Thank- you for developing products for us health freaks.

Thanks again!
Ok Chick


Mr. Maher,

Dude, I pity you when judgment day comes. Your new movie might get some laughs, but I don’t think the Big Man Upstairs is laughing.

Best of Luck,
Ok Chick

11 comments:

TC said...

I was just thinking the other day that I needed to do one of these posts again, lol. I have some stuff to get off my chest and boy oh boy are these a good way to do it!

My S-I-L did the fake flower thing this year. It was fine back in late August early September when we were getting 80 degree weather, but I have to admit, they look kind of strange now. (Although, it was 80 all last weekend, so what do I know?)

monamachel1 said...

Hey, me too....
Dear Retirees...I understand you have no where to be and you worked for like the last 50 years and you would like to take long drives for no reason. However, can you please not do it between the times of 730-830 and 430-530?? Some of us working people have places to go and we do not allot time going 15 under the speed limit!!!

Renee said...

yup, My hair is still blonde... I actually went a shade darker and only hit the roots with it...so it doesn't look too much like a dye job.

Love your letters. I have a few (tons) to write too. ;)

Tamra said...

People are using fake flowers in their flower beds? I'm shocked! And I should TOTALLY do that...in season, of course. :)

Renee said...

re: your comment. LOL! Just last night DH was showing me something he found in Prevention magazine. It said that "you should go out with your girlfriends every week to improve your self esteem" and DH was wanting to do that. I asked him how many girlfriends he has...he said he would have to go get some.
BUT if he knew that you and TC wanted to come along on our trip...well I'm not too sure how he would take that. He would probably have a heart attack. LOL!

TC said...

I think this could be a fun trip! :o)

Anonymous said...

1st--They know what the american people are thinking because they are taking polls during the debate. This would give them a general idea of who the american people are reacting to.
2nd--Completely agree
3rd--Who even cares anymore?
4th--I hope your starbucks makes it through the recession.
5th--Judgement day?? I think in the bible it says not to judge but you are judging Bill Maher so does that mean you are going to hell. I think Bill Maher's big problem with religion is the corruption of the actual idea. Religion has been changed to fit into so many individual ideals of life to the point that it more than likely has no comparison to what it was in the beginning.

Anonymous said...

"Dude, I pity you when judgment day comes. Your new movie might get some laughs, but I don’t think the Big Man Upstairs is laughing." this is an observation and a good one...I do not see anywhere that you judged this guy at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh yeah...I take those polls all the time...one after another and you can take them over and over too!

OK Chick said...

I didn't say I thought he was going to hell, because I don't know who and who isn't going to hell.

Kristin said...

Oh my - I completely agree with everything (#1 especially). Although, I have to say, I have tons of real flowers blooming in my front yard right now. I have no idea how - we never weed, water, or fertilize - yet somehow they are thriving!

Scotty said...

Wait a second here... fake flowers, in a flowerbed, outside?! I have never heard of such a thing..