Last night I met a guy. Wait, let me start over.
Last night I hung out with guy. This guy, we will call him Dick, and I weren't strangers. We have known each other since college. So really, last night I hung out with an old friend.
Dick and I were at a birthday party for our dear friend Stephanie. Throughout the evening I was reminded that Dick is a great guy. He believes in God, fun to be around, has health insurance, and common sense. As a single person, believing in God, a personality, health insurance, and common sense are sometimes hard qualities to find. Yes, I'm being serious. No, I'm not just being picky.
Since Dick has those qualities, I started thinking. Why have I never noticed these things about Dick? Where have I been all these years? But then it happened. He used the forbidden phrase. When telling a story he said, and I quote, she was blowing up my phone.
Unless you are P.Diddy, Snoop Dogg, or Kesha I do not want to hear about anyone blowing up your phone. Do we have an understanding? I need to know you understand me. It's important to me.
Thank you for your time. I feel better to get this off my chest, again.