No, I will not have a garage sale at my house. Why? Well for starters, I don’t want to clean out my garage. Also, I don’t want to get up at the butt crack of dawn, on a Saturday, for a garage sale. I’m sorry. If you want to have a garage sale, then have it at your own house!
Dear Judy Jazzercise,
Thanks for choreographing a routine to Beyonce’s Single Ladies. Seriously, I love the song, and it’s the perfect song at 5:30am. You never let me down Judy Jazzercise.
Your #1 Fan,
Dear Guy #5,
You are the dumbest male I have ever met. Guy #5, please, for heavens sake take some notes:
#1- If a girl says she had a hard stressful week, don’t ask about her week and then not respond to the details of her week. Show some freakin’ sympathy.
#2- Don’t talk about politics when a girl says- I just want a relaxing night that doesn’t require a lot of brain power.
#3- If you recently moved to OKC, you can’t argue about how long road construction has been going on around town! Because you have NO CLUE HOW LONG THE CONSTRUCTION HAS BEEN GOING ON- YOU JUST MOVED TO TOWN!!!
Don’t bother calling- EVER,
Thanks for making instant Peaches and Cream Oatmeal. It saves me on days when I’m running late, which is every day.
I feel zero guilt for not giving you another check to your charity. I do not care if you give me a pin for your charity. I don’t care if the pin means I get to wear jeans all week. I’m tapped out! I have no more money!!!
Your Heartless Coworker,
I think you put crack in your drinks? Today, I did not stop for a nonfat Chai, and now I have a huge headache. Huge, I tell you! Could you guys please lay off the crack, it's giving me a headache.
Well, I feel better.