Monday, April 20, 2009

Letters from OK Chick

Dear Friend,

No, I will not have a garage sale at my house. Why? Well for starters, I don’t want to clean out my garage. Also, I don’t want to get up at the butt crack of dawn, on a Saturday, for a garage sale. I’m sorry. If you want to have a garage sale, then have it at your own house!
OK Chick

Dear Judy Jazzercise,

Thanks for choreographing a routine to Beyonce’s Single Ladies. Seriously, I love the song, and it’s the perfect song at 5:30am. You never let me down Judy Jazzercise.
Your #1 Fan,
OK Chick

Dear Guy #5,

You are the dumbest male I have ever met. Guy #5, please, for heavens sake take some notes:
#1- If a girl says she had a hard stressful week, don’t ask about her week and then not respond to the details of her week. Show some freakin’ sympathy.
#2- Don’t talk about politics when a girl says- I just want a relaxing night that doesn’t require a lot of brain power.
#3- If you recently moved to OKC, you can’t argue about how long road construction has been going on around town! Because you have NO CLUE HOW LONG THE CONSTRUCTION HAS BEEN GOING ON- YOU JUST MOVED TO TOWN!!!
Don’t bother calling- EVER,
Ok Chick

Dear Quaker,

Thanks for making instant Peaches and Cream Oatmeal. It saves me on days when I’m running late, which is every day.
Ok Chick

Dear Coworker,

I feel zero guilt for not giving you another check to your charity. I do not care if you give me a pin for your charity. I don’t care if the pin means I get to wear jeans all week. I’m tapped out! I have no more money!!!
Your Heartless Coworker,
OK Chick

Dear Starbucks,
I think you put crack in your drinks? Today, I did not stop for a nonfat Chai, and now I have a huge headache. Huge, I tell you! Could you guys please lay off the crack, it's giving me a headache.
OK Chick

Well, I feel better.


TC said...

I need to do one of these again. I forgot how much from they are! :)

Scotty said...

Poor #5 has no clue.

Should we sign him up for some kind of lessons Ms. OK-Millionaire-Matchmaker?

monamachel1 said...

I totally agree with Starbucks. They use something because when I was getting it everyday, if I skipped a day I was no good!!

Renee said...

These letters always give me a good laugh. I'm glad you wrote the one to Guy #5. I could tell he wasn't long for this world before, but now he's put the final nail in his cofin.

and what kind of friend do you have who wants you to host a garage sale? how cruel??? I refuse to do them anymore. I would much rather GIVE my stuff to charity than have someone looking down their nose at my good stuff (as if it is crap) and question why I want $5 for something I paid well over $100 for!!! I'll give it to charity and write it off my taxes for $20 instead!!!
oh and don't get me started on the professional garage sellers...they show up with a truck overflowing with stuff the bought elsewhere and try to buy up all your good stuff for nothing to turn around next week to resell it!

Bone said...

I don’t care if the pin means I get to wear jeans all week. I’m tapped out! I have no more money!!!
Your Heartless Coworker,
OK Chick
Haha. That was good. I think McDonald's puts crack in their Coke. It doesn't give me a headache, but it sure it good.

I think you should rank Guys 1-5. That'd be fun. Also, I don't really remember Guy #4.

Emily said...

Dear Guy #5,
I tried to convince OK Chick to give you another chance. I was wrong. She should no longer waste her time.
Thanks tons!

Holly said...

Remember when we did that Garage Sale and each made about $2? And I hit the curb on my way over that morning and lost a hubcap which cost me $40. Totally not worth it. NO MORE GARAGE SALES.

d.j. iverson said...

Hosting garage sales are for people that wear fannie packs and sweats with sandals. You might not be having a great week, but you're nowhere near there.

As for guy #5, be sure to let him know what guy #6 does right.

OK Chick said...

TC- I look forward to reading your letters.

Scotty- Great idea! I'm on it.

Mona- I'm glad it's not just me. HA!

Renee- I tried with Guy #5. My friends are great people; they just want me to do all the work for a garage sale. :)

Bone- Guy #4 is someone everyone wanted me to ask out, cute/great guy but I didn't want to ask him out. Ranking the dudes, that would be kind of hard. I'll have to think on that one.

Emily- Thanks Emily. Why don't we just cut to the chase and get your BIL to ask me out? HA! Kiddin, sort of...but not really.

Holly- Yes I remember, which is why I don't want to do another one. :)

DJ- Thanks. You always bring things to perspective. I'm not at the point in my life where I need a fannie pack. If I find a Guy #6I'll be sure to educate #5. :)

Anne Dayton said...

I'm dying about Judy Jazzercise. That's hilarious.