Mother, I do not need a blind date. Not with some incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney and dresses like her mother.

I have a blind date tonight; a true blind date. When I say true blind date, I mean I know zero about this guy. I have no idea what he looks like, his age, if he likes nonfat Chais, if he wears tacky holiday sweaters, and if he his passport! Basically, I know his name and place of employment. BUT never fear The Cousin has well prepped me for the date. Yesterday I was telling her about the blind date, and two minutes later she emailed me his life story. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, God Bless Google and The Cousin’s stalking skills!