Who you calling fat?

If you keep up with Oklahoma News, which I’m positive none of you do. But, if by the off chance you do; I’m sure you heard OKC Mayor calling all of us Okies FAT! No, he did…back in January. Actually, he called us fat many times. He also did it on National TV. For instance, he called us fat on The Ellen Show, Larry King Live, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and pretty much anyone else that would listen-just incase he wasn’t getting his message out!

Mayor Mick Cornett (the man to the left) decided Oklahoma needed to go on a diet. He pledged that in one year Oklahoma would shed 1 million pounds. I thought it was a great challenge so I signed up. I’m all about exercising. I’m all about eating healthy, so this was the perfect challenge for me. I even got Sister #1 to take on the challenge. Well the challenge has been going on for a few months and the newness has worn off. It seems that this whole thing has taken a backseat to the state’s other problems. I do not need to remind you that it is tornado season. We don’t have time to lose weight; we’re too busy chasing tornados and alerting people when it rains.

But to keep up the enthusiasm the media circuit has started up new buzz. This morning I received an email informing me that my boy AL ROKER from the Food Network and The Today Show is coming to OKC! That’s right! He’s filming a special for the Food Network; and they are having a casting call for people to participate. I guess Al thought us Fat Okies were so cool he wanted to meet us, and even film our story. Do I even have to tell you that I AM SO going to the casting call! You guys know I’ve met Al before right? Yup. It happened outside The Today Show studio. I was on SCT #4- NYC. I am positive the man remembers me. Suzy, Sista’ #1, and I gave him an OK shirt. Oh maybe he will wear the shirt Saturday? This weekend I’m going to my first, no wait second casting call. My first was for the Bachelor. Don’t ask. But the Food Network, this I can handle! Hey, this might even get me a step closer to meeting my cooking hero Paula Deen......
By the way, see those boys??? Umm that's the reason why she is my hero. Oh and because she cooks everything in Butter.

Cosmo strikes again

Strabucks Update:
I went by this morning to see if The Way I See It had really returned. It hadn’t. I guess yesterday, Starbucks was teasing me with an old cup. I know everyone was on the edge of their seat waiting for this update.

Ok, so that’s not what today’s post is about. Yesterday, The Cousin sent me a funny email. She spotted these retro ideas to keeping or snagging a man. I believe she felt I needed to see them. Of course, all this vital information comes to us from information man central- Cosmo.com. I have already expressed that Cosmo.com has every secret on their website! Really, it’s true. Yesterday, I read that I was a “hard to get girl”. I was then told by two people that I was in fact, not a “hard to get girl”. Whatever! I stand by what Cosmo says. Anyway, here’s some advice us single gals might want to try, and you married people out there…feel free to adopt these in your married life.

1966:
For Staying Married:
“Be sympathetic…and often silent. A man rarely divorces a wife because she has nothing to say.”
For Throwing a Party:
“Always be sure to invite some beautiful girls who (your guy) will find amusing. Don’t make the fatal mistake of including too many homosexuals.”

1967:
For Not Getting Dumped:
“Tearfully tell him your other, secret boyfriend is leaving you. His ego will be so shattered; he’ll hang on to see if there’s a third secret lover you’re hiding.” Ok, this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! Really, what the crap did these people smoke in the 60s? Well I know what they were smoking…but what?

1968:
For Staying Thin:
“Diet on weekdays, when he is less apt to notice. Eat like everyone else on weekends. Exercise, but out of sight.”
For Appearing Younger:
“Join a protest movement”

Blogger World, I have now given you two different ways to find/keep men; or women if you are my California friend DJ. I'm sure all this advice could apply to a women. See, who says my blog is not educational? I’m throwing out life saving advice on this thing, and I can’t even get a thank-you!

The return of...The Way I See It

The Way I See It #289....

So-called "global warming" is just a secret ploy by wacko tree-huggers to make America energy independent, clean our air and water, improve the fuel efficiency of our vechicles, kick-start 21st century industries, and make our cities safer and more livable. Don't let them get away with it!

- - Chip Giller
Founder of Grist.org

This morning I was way excited to see that Strabucks had brought back the The Way I See It. I love reading the ridiculous things they put on these cups. Although, I guess I shouldn’t say all of them are ridiculous, some are very thought provoking. This one is a favorite because they say wacko tree-hungers. I mean, at 6:50 in the morning that's funny.
Hopefully, Strabucks has brought back The Way I See It for good. I’m hoping this wasn’t a fluke and I was given an old cup this morning. I guess tomorrow morning I’ll have to swing by for another non-fat Chai to find out. Thankfully, my dad helps keep my Starbucks obsession alive. Thanks dad!

Mystery of the Day....

Today’s mystery is, why a man would cheat on her?

So....yeah, let me know if you have the answer.

A post stolen from Sarah

The other day I discovered my friend Sarah's blog. She's been added to my list of daily blogs I read. She's a great writer and she's stinkin' funny. I know...I say that about everyone. But to prove her wit, I'm stealing her post from yesterday. Is that ok? Is there some blog law I'm breaking by doing this? Surely not.

Your Friend Who Is A Boy Is Not Your Boyfriend

I don't think I have a single female friend in my life who hasn't had a visit from the Maybe Man. Sometimes he lasts a few months, sometimes he stays for years. But no matter the length of his stay, I've come to view the Maybe Man as a rite of passage for today's woman.

Now who is this Maybe Man, you ask? Actually, I think 90% of you know exactly who is he is. But for you other 10% (you lucky, lucky 10%), I'll explain. The Maybe Man is that guy in your life who always seems to be dancing along that friendship/something more line but can never quite decide where he wants to land. Some days you're convinced he's more than a friend, some days you aren't. Sometimes he acts like a jealous boyfriend, sometimes he could care less if you are still on the planet. He's the guy in your life about whom you are never sure how you feel because you're too busy trying to figure out how he feels about you.

The problem with Maybe Men is that they are almost always good guys at heart (at least today I think they are, tomorrow I just might think they are Satan's toadies) who just can't seem to get their act together when it comes to one woman: you.

And the absolute worst part about it is that because nothing is ever said directly (really, what would you say? “I know you must like me because you've called me every night this week!), so you are never quite sure if it was all in your head.

"When you're on a holiday"

I went on a weekend holiday, or vacation if you're reading this from America. Don’t be jealous. I can’t help it that I was forced on an airplane Friday morning to head to Florida. I also can’t help it, that I had to look at this for a day and half:
I know, it was a tough weekend for Sister #1, The Cousin, and I. Saturday, I was about ready to shoot myself. I was sipping on H2O and non-fat Chai Frappuccinos while watching cute guys walk past me. It’s a tough life I live! I decided my Beach Weekend Vacation was going to be a true vacation. I decided from Friday-Sunday I would relax. Friday afternoon and all day Saturday, while lying on the beach, I didn’t read school crap I read my favorite book What a Girl Wants. Also, I didn’t get up at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday morning to go run. Instead, I got up at 9:30 and ate breakfast on a patio. The weekend in Florida was to relax and for my mind and body to recuperate.

I believe all three of us had a great time. I returned home with a nice tan. Ok, so my legs resemble a lobster but whatever. I’m pretty sure it will eventual turn into a nice tan. Also, I’m almost certain my ankles will swell down to normal size. Helpful hint…put sunscreen on your feet and ankles. I forgot about those and now they are swelled up like I am pregnant. But you know what? It was worth it. I highly recommend that everyone take a Beach Weekend Vacation!

"On the beach you’ll find them there"

Ok, so imaginary high five to the person that guess what song the title of this post came from. Also, imaginary high five to the person that can guess where I'll be this weekend. So let's review, up for grabs this week...two imaginary high fives from OK Chick. The best of luck!

"Every time I look at you I go blind"

The title of this post goes out to a special Hootie & the Blowfish band member. Today, he is celebrating a birthday. I’m assuming it’s the main guy, but I don’t know. I actually don’t even know the main guys name. Anyway, Happy Birthday Hootie & the Blowfish dude.
Blogger World today is a special day. It’s May 13, 2008, which really means nothing unless you are the Howtie & the Blowfish guy. But if you are not him, then know it’s just going to be a good day. Monday is over and Friday is around the corner. But this post is just a normal good ole’ Weekend Updates for this fab day, and to help everyone get excited about the weekend.

Friday
What do you suppose this single gal did on her free Friday night? Nope. You are all wrong with your guesses. Are you ready for this? I went to grocery shopping. I know! Oh wait it gets better. After I was done roaming the isle of the grocery store, I came home and watched Sister Act 2 on TV. Right. Since Friday night makes me look like a loser we’ll move on to Saturday.

Saturday
Ah, Saturday was a much better day, not that Friday was bad. I kind of enjoy watching Sister Act 2. Whoopi is a funny lady! Anyway, my Saturday started out running a race. I know, like I’d do anything else on a Saturday morning. However, this race was at the Zoo. No, we didn’t get to run through the Zoo, even though that’s what I thought I was signing up to do. After the race my racing buddy, my friend Andrew, and I walked around in the Zoo. It was SO fun. The animals were out eating so I got to see lots of animals. I was even able to witness those big turtles eating and walking around.
The rest of Saturday was spent mowing the yard and planting flowers. I planted many flowers to brighten up the house. We needed some color.
OH my goodness, you guys will never guess what I found in my backyard while I was mowing? My dollar bill! It came back to me. I couldn’t believe my dollar was still in the backyard after the crazy wind we’ve had lately.
Saturday night was spent in Hometown, USA. I practiced for my future job- Rock Star. Sister #2 has Guitar Hero, and I think I mastered 3 songs on level Easy.

Sunday
Mother’s Day! Sister #1 and I cooked the fam lunch. It was part of our Mother’s Day present. After lunch we watched The Greatest Mom open all her presents.
Sunday night was quite the evening. Sister #1 and I proved our awesomeness. The two of us moved a 300lb TV from our entertainment center to the curb…ALL BY OURSELF! Yup, all by ourself. Ok, we did use our microwave cart to get it down the driveway. But that was it! We were both so proud of ourselves. Recently, I inherited a TV so Sister #1 and I decided Sunday night would be a great night for the TV swap. I’m happy to say that our new TV is sitting in the entertainment center and the old one has already been hauled off to the dump. We had the new TV moved in before Desperate Housewives started...now that's impressive. Really, you can’t ask for a better Sunday night!

It might not have been the most exciting weekend, but it was a good one.

Cosmo's 30 day challenge

Last night while in class I was surfing the Internet. Yes, I realize I’m paying good money for my education and I should be fully focused on the professor, but I wasn’t. I don’t know if you guys have realized this, but I have the attention span of a four year old. Asking me to sit still and pay attention for 3.5 hours is absurd. So to break up the time I surf the internet. I guess I should start calling it multi-tasking, because really I’m listening to the professor (despite what I just said), surfing the Internet, and IMing the girl beside me. See multi-tasking! Who says I didn’t learn anything in my early years of college!

Anyway, where was I…oh surfing the Internet, while listening to the professor. One of the websites I stumbled onto was Cosmo. Now, I’ve read Cosmo a couple times, I am a girl. However, I can’t say I have ever been to their website. It’s actually a very informative website. Here are a couple things I learned:


1. Alcoholism is up in women.
2. How to find jeans that will fit my body.
3. Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett (whatever her last name is) are getting married.
4. My horoscope.
5. 10 Things my boss never told me but should.
6. Sexy Perfumes.
ANDDDD….
7. How to meet a guy in 30 days.

As you can imagine number 7 stopped me dead in my tracks. As I read all 30 suggestions I realized that Cosmo is a genius! No wonder women have been reading them for years! They held the answer to one of the oldest questions. How to find a guy? Ok, so maybe I’m adding a smidge of sarcasm right now. Actually, I’m being 100% sarcastic. The suggestions they offered were hilarious. I was Iming them to the girl next to me and even she was laughing. IM Buddy pointed out a few things to me. Point number one, it only took her 3,654 days to find her husband. Yeah, I felt that was super encouraging as well. Point number two, she felt pretty certain it would take me 300 days to find a date- not 30. I was certain I could find someone in less than 300 days. I mean, that’s almost a full year. She finally agreed, and changed her guess to 299. I guess 299 days sounds better than 300 days; or not.

If you would like to take the Cosmo 30 day challenge here’s Day 1:
Email all your contacts and let everyone know that you are looking for a man, and willing to be set up. **

**So I paraphrased some, but that’s basically what it said.

Missing...

Last night after I felt I had truly celebrated Cinco de Mayo, I came home to do yard work. Please contain yourself; I know you are all jealous of my exciting life. Nothing says “I live the fast life” like yard work. However, last night something exciting happened while I was mowing. I found a dollar. A One Dollar Bill! I was so excited. I never find money. I’m always looking for money. I mean, I’ve found the pennies, an occasional quarter lying on the street, but never bill money. I quickly snatched the dollar and stuck it in my shoe. I didn’t have a pocket so my shoe lace had to work until I was finished mowing.

After I finished mowing I went on a walk with Sister #1. I made it down the street when I remembered my new dollar. I looked down at my shoe and discovered the dollar had escaped. I was so bummed. I was a dollar richer and I lost it! I had big plans for that dollar. It was going to pay for some groceries. If anyone sees my dollar blowing in the wind, please return it.

No shoes, no shirt, no problem

Happy Cinco de Mayo to everyone! What better way to celebrate this festive holiday then with a grand post of Weekend Updates, and a side of Mexican food. HAHAHA, ahhh… ok that was a bad joke. Sorry…I’m just excited that I’m eating Mexican food today. I went to aerobics this morning so I wouldn’t feel guilty for eating lots and lots of chips and queso. What’s the use of a holiday if it’s not celebrated? Anyway, here are the highs and lows from my weekend. Mostly, it’s all highs.

Friday night I went to see Kenny Chesney and Leann Rhimes in concert. I had a great time with my friend Casie and I definitely enjoyed my May concert! Kenny and Leann put on a great show! I was impressed with how much energy they both had throughout the show. Both, Kenny and Leann ran all over the stage shaking fans hands. I didn’t get to shake their hand because I was in the top section. I did almost win a chance to meet Kenny and Leann after the show. Not really. But we sent a texted message trying to win a chance to meet both artists after the show. Sadly, they didn’t text message us back.
During the concert I decided that if I ever change careers, I need to look into the job- rock star. I’m thinking this would suit me perfect.
Another thought that went through my head…. Leann Rhimes is freakin’ hot. Of course, I mean that in the straightest possible way. But she is so ripped! Leann, honey, you are my new motivation for lifting weights. If I can get her arms from lifting weights…sign me up!

Saturday was a busy day. It just seemed like there was one thing after another. Here’s the run down…
First up, was a couples shower for our friends Anthony and Rachel. Sister #1 and I hosted the shower at our place of residence. I thought the shower turned out very nicely. Sister #1 and I made lots of yummy food, which everyone loved, and a good number of people attended. I think the Bride and Groom were satisfied with their couples shower.
Second event for Saturday was an arts festival. I love art festivals. I don’t necessarily love them for the art, though it’s fun to look. I love art festivals for the great food! Who can pass up a Funnel Cake and an Indian Taco? Well Saturday I passed on both deliciously fried foods, but normally I’m all over an Indian Taco. I went out to the arts festival to help with some Relay for Life stuff, but by the time I got there they were finished. However, I timed it perfectly because they decided to go to lunch right when I got there. So I sat and watched them eat. I finally cave and had one fried pickle. It was good.
The last fun event for Saturday was a movie. The Roommate, Sister #1, and I went to see Maid of Honor. SO CUTE! I highly recommend the movie. I stamp this movie $9.00 worthy. McDreamy is very…dreamy. So funny side note with this event. The Roommate didn’t realize movie prices had gone up to $9.00. When we sat down in our seats she asked me….when did movies go up to $9.00, good grief! It was funny because she had the same reaction I had to this distributing news.

Sunday is normally my day of rest, but not this Sunday. After church Sister #1, two friends, and I went to Choctaw, for a 5K race. The miracle in this event is Sister #1 ran a race. Sister #1 usually only runs one race a year and that would be the race my dad puts together-a.k.a the race my dad forces the entire family to run. But this year she made an expectation and joined us crazy runners for a Sunday afternoon race. I’ve run a lot of 5Ks in my life and this one was the hardest I have ever run! We ran two miles through a park and the last mile was through the woods. I thought I was in shape, but I guess I’m not when your throw mud, dirt, sticks/rocks, and a grass field into the mix. I’m an asphalt girl give me a good road and I’m happy. But everyone did well.
After the race and some church, Sista #1 and Suzy came over for a leftover fest. It was a beautiful night so we sat outside and enjoyed leftovers from the couples shower. I don’t know how you can beat a night like that!

Question of the Day

Today's question of the day is: Who in the world looks like this when they sleep????

For some reason I seem to wake up with my face smashed in the pillow, and I know I'm not smiling when my alarm goes off. This picture is for the birds!

Jump Back!

Me: Eat quick
Sister #: Why? (Tornado sirens are blaring in the background)
Me: Tornado in Midwest/Del City
Sister #1: Who are you watching?
Me: Gary (my weather guy). It’s getting good, so far Rick (weather guy on channel 8) has yelled as his people and Gary’s getting excited.
Sister #1: How much time do I have?
Me: I’d say about 30 minutes.
Sister #1: Is Val (storm chaser my sister loves) out yet?
Me: Yup
Sister #1: I’ll be home in a few minutes.

The tornado didn’t come towards us at all! I was hacked because they wouldn’t get off the TV for Grey’s. I’m all for interrupting TV programming when the tornado is near the viewing audience, but when you start getting up near KS…give it up and get off the TV. Nothing is going to happen!!!! AHHH, I missed Grey’s last night because Gary, Rick, and other weather man wouldn’t shut up! At one point they were talking about how no one had lost power and no one was reporting damage. Really! Sometimes I think they just like to hear themselves talk. All-in-all it was a boring storm chasing night. Gary didn't even use is freak out phrase....'Jump back'. He says that when it's serious.

A few of my favorite things...

It finally feels like spring here in my great state. Ok, let me rephrase that…it looks like spring. Once you go outside you are blown away by the 30mph wind. No, I’m serious its 30 mph wind today. But May is the time when we receive beautiful days. I find that beautiful days always put people in happy moods. Also, these things put me in happy moods. Here are a few of my newest favorite things. Really, like you care. But again, it’s MY BLOG so I’m going to post them!

So last night I made carrots in these things. They were good and it only took 3 minutes. I highly recommend these time saving bags.

Every year I aim for a cool tan line on my feet, thanks to these cool sandals!

Ok, you have got to try these suckers. AMAZING! I have converted my whole office to these bars. I am 100% certain Fiber One should pay me some type of reward. I sure have I've boosted sales around here!

This is my new favorite movie. I purchased the DVD last night. I never buy DVDs!

PS- I have a huge crush on the main guy character, I have no idea what his name is, but he's really cute!